Wednesday, August 21, 2013

How to be Selfish (And other uncomfortable advice) by Olga Levancuka

From the title, you would think that this book is about being selfish in the traditional sense of the word. However, if you think that you are going to learn how to be greedy, self-centered and inconsiderate after reading it, I'm afraid you're in for a big disappointment. What it is actually about is how to be a better person, in other words self-help in order to work on yourself so that you can be of better use to others. It touches on weighty subjects like the body and self-image, religion and relationships. The author gives several examples from her own life and shares both painful, successful and joyful experiences she has had – which makes her all the more credible to the reader. There are also some exercises that you can work on in order to achieve your goals, and at the end of the book there are testimonials by the author's clients as Ms. Levancuka is also a life coach.
We are constantly bombarded by all kinds of advice in the media: from psychologists and other mental health professionals to members of the clergy to popular icons of the day. Some of them I find to be truly helpful, others do not strike a chord in me and others definitely turn me off. I would definitely put Olga Levancuka in the first category! I'll tell you why: she starts off by saying that the book is a conversation, as if she were sitting in front of the reader, and she truly carries on in this fashion in a credible manner. Being spontaneous and natural is a hard thing to do on paper (or in this case digitally). Many authors make this attempt and fail at it. Another aspect that I feel is in her favor is that she is an immigrant to the UK. She was born and raised in the USSR. Not always, but many times, coming from another culture and having to adapt to a new one gives a person insight (which the author definitely has) on life that not all natives to a particular country have the benefit of acquiring. You get to pick and choose what you like about the new culture and either retain or discard features of your original culture.
In this particular case, I also felt that the author has an advantage in being a layperson because everything she has to offer comes from her own experience and she does not use any psychological jargon. Her plain, simple language is a powerful vehicle to get her ideas across, and she uses it to elicit powerful emotions from her readers. In addition, the reader is not meant to follow an entire system, but rather he or she may pick and choose what advice to follow and what not to. That is not to say that How to be Selfish is unorthodox or unconventional. Some of the exercises in order to break free from unhappy relationships can be found in television programs on Discovery Home and Health.
If you feel that there are some issues in your life that you would like to address but have not had the courage or encouragement to face them, you would benefit from reading this book. It is a cathartic, yet no-nonsense approach to slowly becoming a better person and improving your own life to be better prepared to face the world and help others. Even if you find just one piece of advice that helps you (I have found at least four or five), you will have gotten your money's worth.
 
Available on Amazon.

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